Let it at length have an end
by Rinne
Summary: How long does Dean have to be dead to go to hell? CHAPTER 2 ADDED. He knows that he hasn't changed. If Dad could make it through a year down there, why couldn't he? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Title: Let it at length have an end

Author: rinkle

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Gen

Characters: Sam, Dean, Bobby

Spoilers: Up to and including 3.12, set post 3.12

Word count: 1073

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, not being paid.

A/N: Title from a quote by Thomas Burnet, "A Treatise Concerning the State of Departed Souls". Thank you to starrylizard and lostandalone22 for betaing.

Summary: How long does Dean have to be dead to go to hell?

Sam impatiently brushes his wet hair out of his face and leans down again, breathing for Dean, his heart pounding enough for the both of them.

Weight on Dean's chest, pumping. Air in and out, exhaustion in his arms and shoulders, spots dancing in front of his eyes.

Then there's the blessed moment when Dean's body spasms, heaving up the water in his lungs, placed safely on his side so he won't choke again.

He's not conscious.

The ambulance turns up and they rush to hospital.

It's only when the doctor says he's not going to wake up that Sam _thinks_, no longer operating on pure adrenaline and drive.

_How long did Dean have to be dead to go to hell?_

* * *

"I'm sorry, Sam. He's not there anymore."

Missouri's words confirm everything that Sam has been trying not to think for the past three days.

"It's not just brain damage?"

He can see from Missouri and Bobby's reactions that he sounds cold and distant.

"No…no, I don't think so. It's like he's empty inside."

Dean is in hell, then, but his body is still alive.

There are options here.

* * *

Sam wakes up at Bobby's place, handcuffed to a bed. The last he remembers he was walking out of the care facility, satisfied that they were caring for Dean and ready to leave his shell behind.

He guesses that Bobby somehow realised that.

"You're awake," Bobby says as he walks into the room, not apologising for his actions.

"And you've got me handcuffed to a bed. Should I be worried?"

Bobby's expression indicates that he thinks Sam has completely lost it. Sam thinks that he probably has. The cold automaton that surfaced in the Trickster's reality has never been submerged very far. Dean being here was all that had kept it from completely taking over again.

"I can help, Sam. I don't want you taking off on me on some insane quest to do this by yourself."

Sam studies him for a minute, sees the grief that is barely hidden.

"I don't want you destroying yourself to bring him back."

Bobby knows about demons, about hell and has more contacts than Sam has ever had. That's the only reason he stays and lets Bobby help him.

* * *

Four months later, one month before Dean's deadline would have passed, Bobby trusts him to go off on a hunt on his own. They've made progress in ruling out ways to get Dean back and Bobby thinks that there are still plenty of rituals left to go through. After all, demons have to get out of hell somehow.

The only way he can kill the succubus is by letting it drain another man. Only after they've fed are they vulnerable. She knows nothing useful to help him and he leaves her corpse beside that of her last meal.

He feels a glimmer of pity that the man had to die. His death will save many more.

* * *

Three months after Dean was due to die, Bobby finds something.

It doesn't require draining a man of blood or ripping out the heart of a virgin. Sam isn't sure anymore whether he could have done it if it did.

There had been a child and she'd trusted him so much to do what was right, to protect her. To protect her family. It had felt like his eyes were suddenly open again, like he was suddenly in the sun again after eons of nuclear winter.

It takes another two months to follow up on all the references they have, to make sure that the ritual does what they think it should. Three months after that they have all the esoteric items they need to summon Dean from Hell.

* * *

Dean has been an empty shell for just over a year when they perform the ritual. Nothing happens at first and Sam thinks that they've failed. Dean's body still lies unmoving on the bed, pale and skinny.

Then light-grey smoke comes seeping out of the floor, sinuously weaving around the room and alighting gently against Dean's mouth, before darting over to an empty expanse of floor. Dean coalesces out of the smoke, dressed as he was when he drowned.

Sam can feel tears running down his cheeks as he stands and moves the few feet to face Dean. A smile blazes across Dean's face, more radiant than any that Sam has ever seen on the living version.

"Your….your body didn't die," Sam says, struggling to get the words out. "You can return to it."

He doesn't want Dean to disappear in a burst of light like their dad did, doesn't want Dean's body to just lie there, empty, for another thirty years. Dean could already be whole again, but he isn't.

Dean's spirit pulls at the collar of his shirt and exposes the tattoo that protected him from being possessed and Sam suddenly realises.

"Oh, shit, shit. Bobby, the tattoo! He can't get back into his body!"

"We'll have to get it removed," Bobby replies. "But, it'll take time. Can he exist without a body for that long?"

Dean fades away again into the grey smoke and moves towards the door. Sam and Bobby follow him as he ducks briefly into nearby rooms, before deciding on one. There's an older man lying still on the bed closest to the door. The man's mouth is open and his throat works as the smoke pours into the body. Sam expects it to suddenly wake up and move as Dean takes control, but it stays still. Dean's not going to wreck another family by making it seem that their loved one has suddenly recovered. That reassures Sam that Dean is still the Dean he knew.

* * *

It's four weeks before Dean's body has the first laser treatment to remove the tattoo. They're fairly confident that with several treatments it'll disappear and not just fade. Sam ignores the weird looks he gets; to them, Dean's just a vegetable and it'd be a relief if he died.

After three months, Dean tries again, but it hasn't faded enough. Four months after that, Dean finally opens his eyes.

Over the coming months, when Dean is so clearly still _Dean_, Sam convinces himself that the flash of grey over Dean's eyes when he woke up was just a trick of the light.

* * *

Five years, seven months and twenty-one days later Dean gets shot point blank in the chest.

He doesn't die.


	2. It's my nature

**Title:** It's my nature

**Rating: ** PG-13

**Genre:** Gen

**Warnings:** Death, destruction and despair

**Spoilers: ** Up to and including 3.12 (Jus In Belo)

**Word count: ** 2325

**Disclaimer:** Own nothing, not being paid

**A/N: ** I didn't think there would be any more to this, but here it is. I've included it as a second chapter as that makes more sense at this site. Appropriately, this is dedicated to pdragon76, who was the first to suggest more. Happy Birthday, Dragons! Thank you to starrylizard and erinrua for their awesome betas. All remaining mistakes are mine, concrit appreciated.

**Summary: ** He gets that they're being cautious, he really does, after all, he sees that he seems like he's sort of demonic rather than just a spirit (he knows that he hasn't changed. If Dad could make it through a year down there, why couldn't he?), but it makes him want to pin Bobby to the wall like a butterfly and force Sam to scuff out part of the trap and let him outside into the sunshine.

Bobby isn't taking any chances.

He wards the comatose man's room, makes sure that Dean's spirit, or whatever the hell it is – if it almost looks like a demon, and acts like a demon, then _maybe_ it _is_ a demon – can't get out.

He knows that there's no way that he's going to be able to change Sam's mind, so he doesn't try.

* * *

The third time that Bobby watches Dean try to enter his body, it works. Bobby honestly hadn't been sure whether it would – protection symbols tattooed onto your body have a very special kind of magic that could last after they've been removed or disfigured. It's why they're so powerful.

A chill goes down his spine at the flicker of grey as Dean wakes up. He's starting to regret that he let Sam talk him into this.

* * *

It feels like Dean's locked in a cage. It's a pretty nice cage as cages go, with a bed and a TV, and yeah, the TV only works on good days and he's fairly certain that some of the interference is sometimes coming from himself, which, woah, that's going to take some getting used to, and the bed has lumps, always has had lumps because Bobby never really thinks about things like his guests being comfortable, and hell, it's definitely better than being in hell (not going to think about that ever again, lock the door, throw away the key), or stuck in that body that was so empty he might as well have been in complete isolation for eight months, and that's way too much time to think and only think (hell; nope, not going to think about it anymore), but it's still only one step up from where he was before.

There are devil's traps at every exit, salt at every window and door. He gets that they're being cautious, he really does; after all, he sees that he seems like he's sort of demonic rather than just a spirit (he knows that he hasn't changed. If Dad could make it through a year down there, why couldn't he?), but it makes him want to pin Bobby to the wall like a butterfly and force Sam to scuff out part of the trap and let him outside into the sunshine.

He doesn't though, because he's fairly certain that they've got set up another line of defence and he'll just end up being locked away for all eternity.

That's not going to happen.

* * *

"No. Hell, no." Dean shakes his head emphatically, not taking his eyes off the object in Sam's hand. Even looking at it is making him want to _rend, destroy, bleed_ the person who'd even suggest it.

"Dean, we need to try this. Just think of it as a safe-guard." Sam's being as persuasive as he can, but there's no way that Dean will let him. No frigging way.

"What, you don't trust me, that it? You think I'm going to go body-hopping, leave behind a trail of death and destruction? After I've only just got this body back? That how little you trust me, huh, Sam?"

Some part of him feels glee at the look on Sam's face.

"That's not what I mean and you know it. What if someone tries to exorcise you, huh? We've got no idea how to do a binding key, so maybe this'll stop it. I mean, if it stops you from being possessed, maybe it works the other way if you already sort of are."

Sam always does this to him, always makes him change his mind, doubt the decision he's made. "You going to test that out?"

"No, no, of course not. Jesus, Dean. Please, can we just try?"

Dean takes a deep breath – he still can't help marvelling at the fact he can. "Okay, do it."

He's almost vibrating, he's trying to stop the shaking so hard. Anticipation is a bitch. The cord comes down around his neck and he can't breathe. The charm hits his chest and burns and he's on fire. There's pain, maddening pain, and he loses time, comes back to see himself holding Sam against the wall, his fists balled in Sam's shirt, and sees the reflected grey in Sam's eyes. The charm is lying broken on the floor.

"Don't do that again," he growls, letting Sam go.

Bobby has a shotgun trained on him.

* * *

Bobby still doesn't trust him. Dean knows it, Sam knows it. But neither of them are taking no for an answer and Bobby does seem to be aware that he's lost the battle.

It's been two long months since he's been near his baby and he takes the time to caress her. She's cool and smooth and he feels something settle deep down inside. This is where he's meant to be and everything is going to be okay.

He has Sam, he has his baby and he has the hunt.

* * *

Dean discovers what he can do almost accidentally. The werewolf is on top of Sam and there is no time for Dean to get there, and he wants it away from Sam _now_, and his head is turning and the werewolf is flying across the room. It is held against the wall by an invisible force, and Dean is suddenly realising it is _himself_ doing that. A small part of him is freaked, because this is definitely demonic, and another part is declaring that it is about time and he's always known he can do this and this feels _good_.

A bullet to the heart and the threat is ended.

He looks at Sam and he sees fear in his eyes. He revels in it and is disgusted by it. For a brief second he doesn't know what he is, what he's become.

"Awesome," he finally breathes and Sam smiles, the fear almost fading away.

* * *

They run into some hunters and are careful not to give anything away. If other hunters had wanted to kill Sam for what he can do, they're definitely not going to understand about Dean.

Bobby calls them a month later and they learn that they weren't careful enough. The hunter world thinks that Dean is a demon.

* * *

They manage to stay under the radar for a year, but they both know it is only a matter of time.

Dean can't believe that the hunter is stupid enough to come on his own. Sam is researching at the library, so he only has one Winchester to contend with, but considering the reason they are hunting him, he kinda deserves to die for his sheer idiocy.

Dean's learnt a few new tricks over the years since he came back. Unfortunately the hunter doesn't seem to appreciate them.

Breaking his neck is the final touch and one he hasn't tried before. It's not quite as smooth a motion as he would have liked but he's probably going to get more chances to perfect it.

Sam doesn't even question the blood; he just packs as Dean says one word.

"Hunter."

* * *

They stop calling Bobby for advice when hunters seem to turn up wherever they are within a few days. Sam has trouble believing that Bobby would betray them, but Dean remembers his expression when they left all those years ago.

As far as Dean is concerned, Bobby is just another hunter and he deserves to die for giving them up.

* * *

Being shot point blank in the chest hurts like a son of a bitch, but it hurts the bitch who shot him more. Her lifeless body falls to the floor as he stands back up, somewhat surprised that he's still alive. He can feel that it's a fatal wound, but there's not as much blood as there should be. Somehow he's preventing it from actually killing his body, at least for now.

Sam's in the midst of a brutal hand-to-hand fight with a bald man, and Dean tries to get to him, but he's bowled over by another man who pours holy water over his face. He yells in agony as he feels his flesh sizzle and has just enough presence of mind to knee the man in the balls. Dean's not the one yelling then. A bullet to the brain and the man stops mid-yell, an expression of surprise on his face.

He turns, finding Sam again, and spots the glint of metal too late. It rips into Sam's chest before Dean manages to fling everyone in the room away from him, rage giving him strength he didn't know he had. He's at Sam's side in an instant, cradling him, watching it happen again, and maybe, just maybe, he can stop it this time…but it's already too late, always too late. There's no light left in Sam's eyes.

There's a flash of white as Dean screams, the sound teetering on the edge of insanity.

* * *

Bobby has a feeling that he's going to die today.

The boys' bodies had been found at the epicentre of an explosion that had taken out a quarter of a square mile. They were untouched by the fire or explosion, Sam lying in Dean's arms. The authorities were confused as all hell. The only explanation that makes any sense to Bobby is that Dean caused it, which means he's a hell of a lot more powerful than Bobby had given him credit for and almost certainly more of a demon than he was when they brought him back.

It was easy enough to sneak into the morgue, but Bobby's no moron; he knows that Dean is probably waiting for him. He only hopes that this is going to work.

He takes a deep breath before opening the door. There are two bodies lying on the tables, under white sheets. It seems awfully convenient, not having to look for their bodies in the drawers. He puts his bag down beside the door, and walks over to the tables. Dean's is the first face he reveals and a pang of sorrow hits him hard in the gut. Dean would have been horrified with what he became.

"I'm so sorry we brought you back," he murmurs, hoping that Dean hears and believes him.

Sam looks just as cold and grey as he did before Dean caused all this mess. Bobby didn't want it to end like this. He puts a hand to Sam's cheek, holding it there for a second as a benediction. Sam's eyes flick open, revealing muddy black.

"Jesus!"

He jerks his hand away and stumbles back as Sam sits up, the sheet slipping away from his chest. There's a raw hole where the protection tattoo would have been and another hole where he'd been stabbed.

"Hello, Bobby. Miss me?"

"Get the hell out of him." He's never felt so much anger in all his life. Dean's defiled Sam's body twice over, because the removal of the protection tattoo has to be his work.

"But don't you see? It's the only way I can keep him close, because _you_ took him away from me."

Dean's madness stings, even though Bobby knows that there was nothing else he could have done. Their fate was sealed the minute that Dean killed the first hunter.

"You were killing them. What choice did I have?"

He yanks the flask of holy water out of his pocket at the same moment that Dean flings him. The metal door behind him bends as he hits it and tumbles to the floor. He keeps his head down, certain that the tape was about to get to the good part.

"Regna terrae, cantate Deo."

He misses the first syllable but he doesn't think Dean notices. The words trip off his tongue in time with the tape and loud enough that Dean should think that it's just Bobby saying them, and not a recording as well. He needs to keep Dean distracted enough that he won't have time to look for the tape recorder if Bobby stops. One point in Bobby's favour is the fact that this is the first exorcism Dean has faced – unlike older demons, he doesn't have the ability to just completely ignore what's happening to him.

Bobby grunts as Dean shakes it off for a second to throw him back against the metal drawers. Three quarters of the way through the exorcism Bobby feels something snap in his side from the repeated blows. His voice falters as he tries to ride through the pain and he sees the second that Dean realises that the voice is coming from elsewhere. They both lunge forward, Bobby throwing holy water in Dean's face to try and keep him from the bag. Dean's head contorts, moving rapidly with the effects of the exorcism. Only a minute or two more and it'll be over. Bobby runs out of water and Dean throws him to the floor and sprints to the door, opening it to try to escape.

"There's no way out, Dean," Bobby gasps as Dean stops at the salt edge. He turns back around, a look of panic on his face as the tape continues into the last few lines.

"Don't make me go back there!" he yells.

The exorcism finishes and Sam's body falls to its knees, head back and throat undulating as black smoke pours out. The smoke disappears and the body collapses to the floor.

"I'm sorry," Bobby says to the empty room.

* * *

Thirty years later Dean crawls back out of hell. Everything that made him human has been burned away, leaving only madness and a vendetta against people who hunt things like him in its wake. He's probably the most dangerous demon that the human world has ever seen.

After three years of havoc, it finally ends when a woman he doesn't remember shoots him with a gun that no demon can forget.

Jo Harvelle doesn't even realise that she killed the last of the Winchesters.

-Finish-


End file.
